losing my habits.

Oh my, friends. I just looked at the date of my last post, and I sincerely apologize for the hiatus I've taken from blogging and, inevitably, for my healthy choices. The truth is, I've been avoiding blogging primarily because I've been avoiding confronting my lack of accountability lately. I refuse to blame being a newlywed as the source of my laziness. Rob and I already lived together prior to getting married so in the grand scheme of things, our lives are hardly any different than before. The months - hell, the year - leading up to the wedding were so stressful and full of meticulous planning. Every minute of every day was planned around work, workout schedules, half marathon training, wedding planning and preparation, on top of all the regular routines of life. Most of us struggle keeping up with the hectic reality of our everyday lives, and it's safe to say I took too much on at one time. Who, me? Never. 

So yes, part of my laziness lately has inevitably been due to the newlywed phase. But primarily, I've been relishing in our lives being back to normal. Normal. I hardly know what that word even means, but as I sit here cozied up with a blanket and a movie, I'm oh-so-consciously aware that I don't have any other obligations sitting on my shoulders. It's both daunting and refreshing, all at the same time.

I've always been driven by goals. Deadlines, due dates, planning and preparation. After college, you're left with so much empty time. No homework, no clubs, meetings and tests to study for. You're no longer obligated to get involved in anything you don't feel like getting involved in, but that means it takes even more gumption and initiative to give more of your time since there's really no motivation to do it anymore except your sheer desire to. That means that evenings are wide open for things like happy hours, ice cream dates, and spending hours on the couch with a good book or movie, a bowl of popcorn and a cup of hot chocolate (did you know that snacks have calories? I know, it's total bullshit).

Making the decision to fill those empty hours with workouts and cooking homemade, healthy meals was a major change in lifestyle for me. I commend myself for building the habit, for sticking with things even before I was "sweating for the wedding" or when I didn't have any major races to train for. I still indulged in life, and always will, but I somehow managed to blend weight loss seamlessly into my life until I was making choices just because it was part of my life, not because I was forcing myself to.

Have you ever stopped a habit? Have you ever built up your running mileage and then taken 2-3 weeks off? Ever swore you'd stop smoking, made it three weeks and then smoked half a cigarette from a friend at a bar? Then you know it's a downward spiral after that. Trying to hit the pavement after a 3 week running hiatus almost feels like starting over. The slightest bit of nicotine in your system can trigger an addictive quality all over again. The bottom line? You broke the habit. Well guess what? I broke the habit.

I came back from wedding wonderland 7 pounds heavier than before I left, and I'm only down about 2 of those. I'll have a day with great choices, get a workout in and spend the next two days eating all the food. I'm without a gym membership right now, and running as my only source of cardio isn't cutting it for me now that I'm not training for a race. This cold weather has me only wanting carbohydrate filled comfort meals, and the dark, cold mornings mean that morning workouts are a thing of the past. Calling this a funk, a rut or an "off week" would be a major understatement.

Yesterday, the Air Force Marathon page on Facebook shared a before and after photo I posted on Instagram shortly following my half marathon last month.

I do before and after shots all the time, mostly as a reminder to myself of how far I've come. But in this one, I had mentioned @afmarathon and they shared it on their Facebook page. It now has over 700 likes and several comments on Facebook, and I am so overwhelmed with the amount of support that's out there for not just me, but for anyone willing to make healthy changes in their lives and talk about it openly. That being said, seeing that yesterday made me feel like I'm hiding a giant secret. Because the truth is that I'm hardly on my A-game right now. I can't stop eating, can't stop making poor choices and cannot for the life of me get my healthy habits back. Those pictures show the success of dedication, motivation and determination - and right now, I am none of those things.

I will be again. And I'm hoping that by writing it openly here, I'll start a series of accountability methods because I really just hate crying wolf. Back when I kept a blog on Weight Watchers, there were a couple years where every few months had a new post about rededicating myself to the plan. I will not rededicate every few months. I will not. I will rededicate NOW, and build back up the healthy habits I know I'm capable of. 

So help me God. 

Here's to just doing it. 

from a smith in the south.

Greetings, friends! I'm writing to you as a married woman in beautiful Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Yeah, I'm not real mad about it.

I could write to you all for days about the dirty details of my wedding, but I'll save that for later. Here are some of my favorite things about our big day - and some photos to show you just how fabulous the weather was, how wonderful my mother's hard work and decorations turned out, and how beautiful the entire day was.

I cried like a baby. I held my shit together ALL day. Like, lockdown. Everyone kept asking me how I felt, and I was completely honest - I felt nothing. I did a great job at taking mental pictures of everything, and I'm still actively reviewing them all. But I didn't feel a single thing until I was walking down the aisle with my dad, and saw Rob standing up there. I think almost everyone there - including some of the most cold hearted of my friends - teared up. Tears are a good thing. I'm so happy I had them. They're proof that I was engaged.

I tried to cut our cake with the serving utensil instead of the knife. And to think I'm the good cook between the two of us.

Rob had a rip in his pants before the reception even started.

My dad did the sprinkler, the shopping cart, made everyone in the audience cry and did a kickass air guitar to Journey.

My grandpa did the Gangnam Style dance.

The night of our wedding, my new husband's main priority was jumping into a pool full of straight men in his boxers.

We're still eating leftover wedding cupcakes. Mojito was totally the way to go.

In closing, here's what you're really here for - some photos :)

Our amazing photographer participating in our hashtag fun - this was so much fun to do with her, and I couldn't have imagined a more perfect person to shoot our wedding. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook - you won't be sorry!

Our reception - at the Dunes House in Palmetto Dunes. They did such a fabulous job setting up and hosting the most perfect evening we could have ever imagined. 

My mother, unbeknownst to me, took paw prints of both our dogs with washable ink, and had the prints framed and put at our table for the reception so the dogs could be with us for the wedding. I had totally locked up the tears during pictures with our photographer, and then lost it once I saw the prints. 

Centerpieces. My dad cut up old skids into wooden planks, topped with white lanterns filled with starfish. Mason jars filled with sand and tea lights sat alongside these, and my mom tied monkeys knots with rope to hold our place cards. Tables were named with iconic places in Hilton Head important to Rob and I, rather than typical table numbers. 

The #smithberryhhi hashtag was the best thing we've ever done. It was so fun to look through Instagram photos after the big day was over, and seeing everyone's take on the entire weekend was hilarious. 

The most beautiful scene this world has ever seen. Fifty of our favorite people in the same place, under the same beautiful sky, for the same reason.  

Welcome gifts for our wedding party and officiant - girls got Kate Spade bow bangles, guys got new Leatherman knives. Everyone got monogrammed towels with their initials and a fabulously designed welcome packet with sand dollar ornament.

If you're considering a destination wedding, I'd highly consider it. We couldn't be happier, and for as frustrating as it can be planning a wedding from afar, we were so thrilled with all our vendors, I can't even tell you how thankful we are. Each and every person, from the legal officiant we had sign our license, to our cake, amazing photographer and perfect DJ/musician, we were beyond thrilled. Here are the vendors we used - and who we'd recommend to you over and over and over again.

Wedding Venue: The Dunes House, Palmetto Dunes, Hilton Head Island, SC
Photograhper: Carolina Photosmith
Music: Johnny Breeze Event Entertainment 
Cake: Sweet Carolina Cupcakes 
Flowers: Flowers By Sue
Print Design: Beach Street Creative
Decorations: My Mother. As original as they come.

the one with the half marathon.

Happy Monday, friends! And yes - it is actually a happy Monday, because it's my wedding week!!!

This will be my very last post as a single lady, and I'm chalking it full of good vibes and motivation to get you through the week ahead. Let's talk about how I rocked the shit out of the Air Force half marathon this past weekend, shall we?

Yep, that's right. Despite having run one half marathon before, in January 2011, I felt like this was my first one. I'm in a totally different frame of mind now, and my lifestyle has changed so drastically that it's hard to compare this one to my first half. I was fortunate enough to run with my friend Kim over at Fabulous Fit Foodie, who provided such a good balance for me along the way. My official chip time was 2:32:56 - almost a full 30 minutes off my final time from my 2011 half. Winning? Yes, that's what winning looks like to me.

As for the race itself, here's a brief rundown of what goes through my head during each mile.

Mile 1: Alright, I'm off. I feel good and dear God I hope this damn rain stops. I didn't buy a $60 lululemon shirt just to slip and fall on my ass. Is my volume up enough? Are my running pants adjusted properly? WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY WAY.

Mile 2: Okay, this is the groove/pace I'm used to. This I can do. Thank God for Kim, or else I'd already be bored. Who the hell put a massive hill during the second mile of a half marathon? This person should be shot, immediately. 

Mile 3: Pace yourself. Don't jump the gun - don't start off too quickly. You've got a lot of miles ahead of you. Don't burn out too quickly.

Mile 4: I'm a full 5k into this race - awesome! One fourth of the way done, almost. Time to pop some sports beans and convince myself they work (they actually do, but I always wonder). I can totally do a 5k 3 more times. I GOT THIS.

Mile 5: My legs hurt. So does my stomach. Why did I insist on eating a banana this morning? I know I run better on an empty stomach, contrary to what's recommended. Ugh. Time to pop some Gu. Kim recommended peanut butter - it's not bad. But this is not peanut butter. Real peanut butter comes with sweatpants and crackers. I've been deceived. 

Mile 6: I feel good. This Gu really works. Except now I have peanut butter mouth. And my hips and legs are killing me. I vaguely remember the early parts of my running career, where it was stamina that caused me to burn out - not physical ability. Now, my lungs can run for days. It's my body that hates me. But we're just about halfway through! 

Mile 7: Okay, it's all downhill from here. Metaphorically. I know there's a hill coming up. But I'm more than halfway through, and Kim and I are rocking a totally kickass pace. Maybe we should slow down a bit. 

Mile 8: THERE'S the hill everyone was talking about. It's an ON RAMP to a damn highway bridge. Cruel. Let's slow our pace so we don't puke on this road in front of all these people. 1 minute walking, 1 minute running instead of our usual 1:3 ratio. We will survive! God, my hips hurt.

Mile 9: Thank GOD that's over. It has to be all flat and downhill from here. And thank God for all these people in the cheering section. I would have passed out forever ago if it weren't for you guys. I love that my name is on my bib - these strangers are yelling "Go Lauren" and I am in love with it. 

Mile 10: Why, God, why. It hurts so bad. We should have just gone to breakfast instead of run this stupid thing. But there's only a 5k left, right? I mean, I can do that. But HOW in God's name are there all these deceiving small hills? They're horrible little monsters. Kim, we got this. I am so thankful for the people along the race course running with us who said things like "You got this!" and "Those full marathon runners make this look so damn easy." 

Mile 11: I can do two more miles. Just two more. I run two miles in my sleep. It's just two. My hips seem to think two miles feels more like 16 at this point. 

Mile 12: What is this awful pain in my heels? Is this the tendinitis Kelly was talking about? Oh my God, am I getting tendinitis in the middle of my race? Kim, I'm pushing to the finish - I'll see you there. Keep going, just keep going. You can stretch when you're done. Holy hell it hurts. Maybe you can stretch now. Just for a hot second. STRETCH. STRETCH FASTER.

Mile 13: THERE'S THE FINISH. Oh geez, it's so close. SO CLOSE. Just keep going. GO. GO. GO. WHERE IS MY FAMILY? They said they'd be here, I don't see them - I don't want to cross the finish line if they can't see me do it! Ahhh - there they are! Ok, RUN LIKE HELL. 

And then it's over. It's the shortest, longest, worst, best experience of your life, all at the same time. It's emotional, physically demanding and brutal. The moments after the race leave you breathless, yelling out to anyone who can hear you that you'll never, for the love of God, do this again. Who the hell does this for fun? you yell. And then you realize, after the pain subsides, you regain logical conscious thought and you've had at least a day to reflect on the madness, that you're the one who does it for fun. And as much as your body hates it, you'll probably do it again - sooner than later.

Here's a couple good shots from race day - I am ever so grateful for the fabulous ladies I run with, and for the constant support of my family and soon-to-be-husband. You're all stars in my book! And watch me cross the finish line at the very end - yay for good friends and family capturing this one!

just keep swimming.

I am starting to loathe the part of me who scoffed at brides during their final weeks of wedding preparation. They clearly can't handle the pressure, I said. They should have prioritized better early on, I said. I should have known that karma bug would come back to bite me in the ass. With exactly two weeks until the big nuptials, it's safe to say that if I get dressed in the appropriate attire on any given day, I'm calling it a success.

On top of that, let's throw in running a half marathon next weekend, starting my very first week of Tina Reale's Best Body Bootcamp and spending some time with the Humane Society of Greater Dayton at one of their local adoptathons this weekend, and I'm pretty sure you can call me a tired panda. But here's the best thing about this kind of busy I've been lately - every single bit of it fills my heart completely. And that's the best kind of busy.

I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be for my half marathon. I can't run any more miles, do any more strength training or warp my diet any more to make much of a difference to next week's race. As always, this completely non-competitive girl will be thrilled to cross the finish line and plaster my smiling face, medal in hand, to every social media outlet I can think of.

But since I'm new to Best Body Bootcamp (BBB), I want to review my very first week and let you know how it's going. Some of you have asked me to keep you posted, as you're looking for some structured workouts with a flexible schedule, and I think I've found your ticket.

I had two personal goals to set this week - I've mentioned them in last week's post, but again, they were to drink a shake each morning and get at least 64 ounces of water in each day. My crazy weekend schedule prevented me from fully completing my morning shake goal, but I'm happy to say that I got my water intake in 6 days out of 7 this week. It's a conscious effort to drink that much water when you haven't done it in awhile, but it was a fabulous reminder of how much better I feel when I do it.

I barely managed to squeeze in this week's exercise requirements, but these days, I'm counting even a brisk dog walk as countable activity. Between running around like a chicken with its head cut off picking up things for the wedding, tying up last minute travel arrangements and freaking the hell out about the dog virus that has been plastered to the news this past week (thanks mainstream media, you've successfully given me a panic attack every day for the past week), I haven't been able to do as many of Tina's workouts as I would like. This week, I'm making a valid effort at dedicating even 20 minutes to a designated workout. I know I met last week's requirement, but I can tell I'm not pushing myself like I should be. Or maybe I should just lay off myself since I'm getting married in two weeks, running a half marathon in a week and getting ready to be out of the office for 10 days. There's a new thought.

Anyway - for those of you considering Tina's program, I'd highly recommend it. I really like the accountability of the Facebook group - the girls check-in daily for workout logs! If that's not motivating enough, I don't know what is. I'm also a big fan of the actual workouts. I watched all the videos, and the workouts I've done so far are awesome - challenging, but not to the point where you feel like a total idiot for having signed up. The best part about it is that it's totally up to you when and where you workout. For me, this took place in my living room with both dogs doing their own version of downward dog in a heartwarming attempt to support their mom. At least that's what I'm going with.

Happy Sunday, friends!

measuring success.

Happy Sunday! I regret to inform you that this post will not be a weekly meal planning one - the craziness of our schedule has made it nearly impossible for me to accurately track my grocery bills. With the wedding just three weeks from today, and my half marathon looming even sooner, I'm pretty sure the only A-game I've been on lately is not losing my damn mind. Surprisingly, I'm surviving in tact.

My "scaleless in September" attitude is working, believe it or not. In all honesty, I weighed myself once - this past Friday - and I was happily at the same place I was before I committed to the idea of not weighing myself so frequently. It's all I can ask for, considering all that's on my plate right now (literally and metaphorically).

What I want to talk about is measuring success. Usually, as with most tasks, you often look for a concrete way to measure how well you've gone. Teachers judge students' progress using grades, football games are scored on a points system, and people losing weight go straight to the scale to see how they've progressed. I get it. It's measurable, and you can't manipulate a number. But teachers, coaches and most people struggling to lose weight know that there are thousands of other ways to measure success than a number. My hiatus from the scale this month has forced me to reevaluate how I measure my success at the end of the day, and it's forced me to take a look at what I view as a win or loss.

I've been without a scale for just 8 days (and that hardly counts, because I still weighed in once), but without the stress of daily weighing, here are the ways I've measured my success:

• I ran 10 miles yesterday. TEN MILES, you guys. I have no idea how many calories I burned, because I'm not concerned with how that generates on the scale right now. What was I concerned with? Fueling my body, hydrating, maintaing a good pace and taking care of my body afterwards. In other words, what you should care about when you run 10 miles. Not how many pounds you'll lose as a result. The one thing I've learned about long distance running? Don't do it to lose weight.
• I hate my legs. I have a stocky build, so even though I've lost about 70 pounds, my legs are still thick. But I rocked shorts yesterday anyway - and when I looked in the mirror yesterday, for the very first time in my life, I thought to myself, those legs just took me 10 miles. I love those legs.
• Without a scale, I'm forced to evaluate every single food choice based on how it's going to make me feel - not how it's going to appear on the scale the next day. I learned this lesson the hard way after consuming half my weight in nachos and french fries Friday night, followed by Chipotle after my run yesterday. Realistically speaking, I probably burned most of those calories during my run (and what I didn't burn in that run, I know I will this week), but that's not the point. Those choices made me feel like shit. I mean, seriously guys. Awful. I've been trying to lose weight, but I'm still teaching myself lessons every single day. 

In the spirit of measuring success in various ways other than the scale, tomorrow kicks off my very first ever Best Body Bootcamp - an online program designed to provide 8 weeks of strength training and bootcamp exercises with the option for weekly prize drawings. Tina provides the workouts, but really advocates for making the program work for the individual. With that, she asks that each participant set two individual goals each week in addition to meeting the weekly requirement of being active 5 times per week to be eligible for prize drawings. 

I am in love with the idea of setting personal goals each week that make me strive towards being healthier in general - not towards losing more weight on the scale. The goals can be anything that will personally aid you in being a healthier you. This week, my two personal goals are:

1. Drink a ViSalus shake every morning for breakfast. I've given up my shakes lately, but need to get back on track as we near the wedding day. The shakes make me feel great, help refuel me after workouts and start me off on the right food each morning.
2. Drink 64 ounces of water every day. I have a big 32 ounce water bottle that I used to be really good about filling up twice a day at work. It curbed my need to snack at the office, made for better workouts and hydrated me before and after long runs. Time to get back on it!

I've been doing a lot of running these past few weeks, but not a lot of anything else. The calories I burn running have allowed me to eat fairly poorly and still break even on the scale, but my body feels weak. I've lost some serious core and upper body strength, and I'm really looking forward to incorporating BBB into my schedules, especially over the next 3 weeks, so I feel strong and confident at my wedding. I've learned the hard way that it's not enough just to do cardio - strength training gives me a sense of strength the same way that running does. 

Here's to kicking off a new workout program, a new week and the official 3-week countdown until my WEDDING!

scaleless in september.

Happy Labor Day, friends! I hope you're all enjoying the always-needed long weekend, and soaking up every last bit of all that summer has to offer. Around this time of year, I always feel so mentally ready for all that fall brings, but then I'm so quick to miss the summer months. I'm living out every minute of these warm days as best I can. This past weekend was no exception - we wrapped up our last official weekend at the lake with the family, and it was the most beautiful weekend we've had all summer. It's been so unusually wet there this summer, and our previous trips down have been filled with rain, clouds and not a lot of sun. Fortunately, we were blessed with some beautiful skies this weekend - I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I also get to keep summer going as long as I damn well please because September is my WEDDING MONTH! Yep. Really. It's crazy how fast time flies, but at the end of the month, Rob and I will be en route to beautiful Hilton Head Island with our closest friends and family for the big day. I. Cannot. Wait. It's safe to say I won't be transitioning into fall until I'm no longer a Mayberry. This is so bittersweet, but I'm excited for everything the future holds.

Because it is my wedding month, and because I don't want to miss a single moment of it, I'm going to do something crazy. I'm participating in a scaleless September. It sounds like a death sentence - not watching your weight the month of your wedding? Am I crazy? No, and here's why.

Ever since I started having weekly weigh-ins, my diet has been focused around that one day a week I step on the scale and record my official gain or loss. Therefore, my entire "week" is typically focused on what's going to generate the biggest loss on the scale that week. Nights before my weigh-in are typically really light dinners, and the couple days right after my weigh-in are filled with high-calorie "binge" meals knowing I'll have another 5-6 days to make up for it before I weigh-in again. It's all centered around that one day. Once I'm in the routine of living this way, I have to really take a step back and realize that I'm honestly missing the bigger picture.

I eat, I workout and I function based on the scale. For some people, that works out fabulously. For me, it's a downward cycle. Before you know it, I'm actually not eating that great. I make horrible choices on the weekend and then I'm detoxing the first few days of the week in order to have a loss by my weigh-in day, which has always been on Thursdays. My focus becomes losing weight, not eating healthy. The two are not mutually exclusive, and that's what we so easily forget.

So for this month, I'm giving it up. When I start making eating and exercise choices based on what makes my body feel good, what challenges and pushes me mentally, and what I know makes me a better person, I'm forced to evaluate each choice for what it is, not for how it'll appear on the scale the next day. Truthfully, it's the way that the journey towards being healthy should work, but I often lose sight of that. I want to enjoy every single moment of my wedding month without the scale dictating how I feel. If I don't hit a certain number on the scale, I don't want to feel less beautiful in my wedding dress. I don't want my walk down the aisle to be exciting because I met a weight-loss goal I'd set, I want it to be exciting because I'm marrying my best friend.

This doesn't mean I won't be staying on track and making the right choices this month. I have a half marathon in 3 weeks, another one a month after that, and this past weekend's indulgences have proven to me that my body desperately wants to get back on track with my eating. It just means that I'm going to be looking at my choices from the bigger picture - not for a weekly weigh-in.

Wondering if you think giving up the scale is for you? Take a look at the things I realized I was doing before I decided it was best to put that scale away for a while.

- I routinely discredited runs, workouts and weeks of tracking and making healthy choices if it wasn't reflected appropriately on the scale.

- I discovered I was typically down more after a good cardio session - therefore, I'd always run the Thursday morning of my weigh-in before I stepped on the scale, even if it didn't make sense for my training to do so.

- The 2-3 days after my weigh-in were filled with poor eating choices, followed by days of no carbing it and "recommitting" in order to break even or have a loss at weigh-in.

- I'd excuse incredibly poor choices throughout the week if they magically resulted in an unexplainable weigh-in I wasn't expecting. If I said "screw my diet" the night before weigh-in and ate pizza, I'd still celebrate the loss if my body gave me one.

It was really the first of these, and the last - the combination of the two - that made me realize my priorities weren't exactly on par. I'd discredit an entire week of awesome choices, meal planning, sticking to my workout schedule and accomplishing a great long run just because I didn't lose on the scale. But if I ate like total garbage, missed a few workout days and my body (because bodies do this, we know) gave me a loss that was undeserved, I'd celebrate it. I need to detach myself from the concept of constantly weighing myself. Realistically speaking, I need to break the addiction.

So here's to a scaleless September, making the right choices, fueling my body and pushing it to completing my second half marathon, and then walking down the aisle (or, down the beach) and marrying my best friend.

Happy September, friends!

meal planning, week 5 - and more dog food.

Happy Sunday! I apologize for being such a bad blogger this week. There's been a lot on the table on all fronts, and I'm pretty sure if I got the chance to sit down, it was mostly to sleep. And eat. I never forget to eat. Ever.

On the wedding front, we had a big decision to make - we decided to cancel our local wedding reception, intended to be held two weeks after the big day in Hilton Head. As to be expected, it wasn't an easy choice, but we've decided to focus our energies and efforts towards the actual wedding celebration with just close family and friends - after the initial "bummed-ness" I felt, I'm happy to say it feels good to know that this year old build-up until the big day will now culminate in what I imagined as my dream wedding for as long as I can remember. Knowing I'm not trying to plan essentially two weddings has reduced my stress level infinitely.

In addition, on the home front, this weekend has been Operation: Fix the Leak at our house. This whole thing should really be titled "as seen on HGTV," but we've managed to make it work. It's been a long weekend for everyone, the dogs included, and I can't tell you how fantastic it is to have such supportive friends and family willing to help us out. In a nutshell, this is what my weekend looked like:

So, if you can imagine everything being taken out of our bathroom, can you begin to imagine where it all is? Yes, scattered around our house. There's a vanity in our office, drawers all over our kitchen table and a bathroom sink in our living room. There are mud rags and shovels in the entryway, and countless paper towel rolls, water bottles and dirty t-shirts in our kitchen. As most homeowners can attest to, what is supposed to be a 1-day project has turned into a full weekend of repairs, and that's assuming Rob finishes up today. To say it's put a dent in my meal planning and organized structure I live by would be an understatement. But, never fear - I've done my best.

I lost .2 at this past week's weigh-in. Am I disappointed? Absolutely. I am at the very bottom of a "decade" (a set of 10's, for those of you who don't give a damn about weight loss - ie, moving from the 140s to 130s, which is not where I am, but wish I was), and I peeked at the scale the day before weigh-in and, you guys, I was in my new decade. I was in it!

And then, because my body hates me, I got out of it for my actual weigh-in. The body is a bitch that way sometimes. Despite that, I did get a 9 mile run in on Friday - a fantastic one too, I won't even lie. I maintained an 11:09 pace, had negative splits for the first 5 miles and finished strong. More importantly, I felt strong. It's the first time in a while I've felt that confident in my running, and I hope to God it doesn't go away. I took a rest day yesterday, then hit the gym this morning where I did a timed 1 mile on the treadmill (9:26, yay!), and finished with an upper body/core strength session. I'll pick the miles back up next week, but I wanted to give myself time to recover. The best part about my house currently being a hot mess, is that the scale is buried somewhere in bathroom drawers and pulled up tile pieces, forcing me to live without it. This is so good for me.

If you didn't check in on last week's meal planning post, you can catch up here. I made a delicious new recipe - Crunchy Cashew Thai Quinoa Salad with Ginger Peanut Dressing (which is way too much of a mouthful, so I call it Thai quinoa salad). It. Was. Delicious. I made a dinner of it by adding Emily Bites' Thai Chicken Skewers (I made them in a pan, not on skewers on the grill), and Rob ate the leftovers all week. I'd highly recommend this!

YUM. No other caption necessary.

I had meals planned out all weekend, but late nights of leak-fixing allowed me to only make one of these and feast on the leftovers last night instead of making my second meal. Leftovers all weekend means I have a rollover meal from last week, leaving me with too many meals planned next week - if that's even possible. This week's meal plan is a little funny, just because we're not going to be around Labor Day weekend and I needed to pick up some "cookout" foods for the weekend. In addition to our normal groceries this week, I picked up soda for Rob, which is an added $10 I hate spending, but he demands on occasion. So, here are the details:

Total spent: $97 + $15 spent Friday to pick up english muffins, PB2, and some fruit
(this includes meat to last us through next weekend, 4 cases of soda on sale 4/$10)

Sunday:

Emily Bites Taco Cupcakes (rollover from last week - already have the ingredients)

Monday:

BBQ Chicken Quinoa (new recipe - pretty excited!)

Tuesday:

Emily Bites Pizza Logs,  roasted veggies

Wednesday:

Skinnytaste Meatloaf Cupcakes (I don't make the mashed potato topping), corn on the cob

Thursday:

BLTA's

Weekend: Hamburgers, chicken sausages and Schmidt's Bahama Mama's (yumsauce)

*My 1-too-many meal: garlic & herb chicken using Land O'Lakes Saute Express butter cubes (both the butter cubes and chicken, frozen, will last until next week, where we can use them one night)

Things I already had at home: all the ingredients for Taco Cupcakes (this was a rollover from last week), BBQ sauce, one giant zucchini from a co-worker's garden, and corn on the cob (I bought a bunch from the local market last week)

This week's grocery list looks as follows:

Produce:

cilantro

2 zucchini

1 yellow squash

head of lettuce

2 tomatoes

grapes (fruit for the week)

avocado (2)

white onion

Dairy:

Saute Express butter cubes, garlic & herb

2 carb-master yogurts (for snacks)

1 good block white cheddar cheese (splurge item!)

cheese slices, for hamburgers

shredded colby jack cheese

mozzarella string cheese

Meat:

chicken tenderloins

bacon

chicken sausages

Schmidt's Bahama Mama's

hamburgers (these came on sale in a pack of 10 - I separated them into two packs of 5 and froze them, so we can use them as a meal next week, too)

ground turkey

chicken breasts

pepperoni

Aisles:

egg roll wrappers

pizza sauce

soda

black beans

frozen corn

quinoa

Honestly, it was a pretty long list and I'm fairly surprised I survived for less than $100 - again, without a single coupon. I always go into panic mode when my dinner plans are thrown off course, but I've gotten fairly good at just looking at my week's meal plan, picking the meal with the least perishable items and holding it off until the following week. It takes some shifting around of what I had originally planned, but it works out. 

Lastly, I'll leave you with this little fun fact: Friday, I picked up dog food for both pups. You may remember my original post about dog food here, but this time I needed two 30-pound bags. The cashier had to have thought I was a nutcase for throwing one bag over my shoulder and asking her to lift the second bag onto my other shoulder. "I have someone who can take those out to your car, ma'am," she said to me. I told her I was fine - that I had lost 67 pounds and I needed this 60 pounds on my shoulders as a reminder of how far I've come. It sounded good in my head, but I'm pretty sure she still thinks I'm crazy. Regardless, by the time I got to my car, I was winded, my knees hurt and I was already sweating.

This is what 60 pounds looks like. This is what I carried on my body for years, never realizing how much easier my life could be without it. These two bags of dog food are a constant reminder that I shouldn't fuss over the minor details, and a visual representation of what I carried around with my every day. I'm so thankful for these two bags of dog food, you will never ever know. I will carry them out every single day until I am 90 years old and cannot lift them any longer. I don't need the extra weight, but I need these bags, and I will for the rest of my life.

Here's to a great week!