I will start by telling you that this post is not intended to hinder people from adopting dogs (I assume you would adopt... we probably shouldn't talk if you're frequenting pet stores). It's not intended to scare you, steer you in the other direction or do anything other than fill you with the common sense that so many people seem to be lacking. When you adopt a dog, you are a pet parent. Somewhere in the process, this "parent" thing we all talk about is getting lost in translation. Allow me to clear it up for you. Also, get comfortable. It's going to be a long ride.
Much like kids, raising and responsibly owning a dog is not for the weak at heart. It can be an exhausting, frustrating experience that sometimes results in us running errands we don't even need to run, just to get out of the house for a few hours. Dogs need everything children need - human interaction, training and education, TLC and routine. They need exercise, consistency and patience. And most of all, they need time.
I spent yesterday morning running with a couple dogs at my local animal rescue organization. They've recently started a program called Paw Partners, where volunteers can go through an orientation and then run, jog or walk with dogs at the shelter who need extra exercise. Since it's the first week, the dogs are limited to 1 mile distances - and since I'm fat and need the exercise, I ended up taking two dogs on two separate runs to help calm them down before public adoption hours that afternoon. Both dogs had recently been returned to the shelter. Returned. Like, purchased, kept the tag on it and brought back a receipt because it just didn't fit right returned. Like a pair of jeans or that gift you got from your great aunt at Christmas. I thought I'd leave feeling emotionally drained that I couldn't take home all the dogs and smother them with affection like my two spoiled mutts at home. Instead, I left feeling angry at the number of people who think animals are somehow dispensable, like everything else in this country has become.
When you bring a baby home from the hospital, you nurture the hell out of it. You give it whatever it wants, and you know you're in it for the long haul. You read parenting books, seek advice from experienced parents and want to provide your child with the best opportunities to succeed in this world. You put them on a routine, get them used to feeding times, and consistent bedtimes. We teach our children how to share and play with others, what it's like to be told "no," and that there are consequences to our actions. And it doesn't always work. Our kids don't always listen, they don't retain information the way we want them to and as a result, we seek alternative courses, different methods and various ways to help them understand. We give them patience and time, grit our teeth and remember that raising children isn't for the faint at heart. You don't give a child a month to learn everything you need him to, and then throw up your hands up in the air and give up when he doesn't meet the bar.
When I first got Scout, she was still drugged up from recently being spayed. She was submissive, calm and all around adorable. Two days later, when she got back to being her normal self, I was greeted with a bundle of energy. Suddenly, my one bedroom apartment seemed tiny, and even the longest of walks couldn't tire her out. She showed me a few signs of food/toy possessiveness, and I thought I was way in over my head. It took me about 6 months to finally feel like we had a bond - to get that inseparable bond I falsely thought I'd get the minute she stepped foot in my apartment. She also refuses to come to us if she gets loose in the front yard. No amount of hotdogs or cheese matter when you're barefoot in your pajamas in the rain chasing your dog down the street as she carries whatever dead animal she found on the pavement.
When we got Brody, Rob and I had no idea his personality would be the total opposite from Scout's. Brody is insecure, scared of men and suffers from anxiety, which makes incorporating him into our regular activities often difficult. Having friends over can be a struggle because of it, and he and Scout don't always see eye to eye. And honestly, dogs have gone back to a shelter for less than that. Never once has it occurred to me to "return" them. Not once have I ever imagined a life without either of them. Asked myself what the hell I was thinking? Absolutely. Return them? I don't even know what that means.
Everyone wants a dog. They're adorable - and puppies are enough to send even the most cold hearted of us into a puddle of affection and love. And there's nothing about pet ownership that I don't find rewarding. Picking up a stool sample in the pouring rain before Brody's vet appointment is something I'd do over and over again for that damn dog, without ever thinking twice. But before you go wandering into an animal shelter with your heart set on that dog you saw on the internet, here's what you need to know:
Your dog will need trained. Much like you teach a sixth grader about American history, you can't expect a dog to grasp all the tricks and routines you want him to in one week. When your dog screws up, doesn't listen or continues to jump after two weeks of solid practice, don't give up on him. Don't return him. Give him time, give him practice, and always end your brief training sessions on a positive note. Dogs have egos too, and slamming his already shattered confidence won't help his progress.
Your dog will need routine. Whether you bring home a puppy or a grown adult dog, establish routine as soon as you can. Dogs need consistency, and they need to know that it's either okay to jump on your couch or not okay - they don't understand circumstances like "you can only get on the couch when I'm in the mood for you to." They need certain doors to go out to do their business, certain patterns throughout the day and if you break from them, so will they. Two weeks ago, I was letting Brody out in the morning apparently later than I have been, and he showed me that by shitting on our floor for three days straight. Lauren learned her lesson real fast. Not Brody, Lauren. Bringing me to my next point.
You need to train yourself. Educate yourself on what motivates your dog. Understand how your dog best responds to you and what works well for him. Most of a dog's poor behavior is largely due to inconsistency or failure to train us humans properly. We are smarter than them (hopefully), and we have to set the standard. It is your JOB, as a pet owner, to educate and train yourself if you expect your dog to be an integrated member of your FAMILY. Yes, I said family.
Be willing to put in the time. I have a Saint Bernard mix and a lab/pit mix - and when Brody comes barreling out of his cage at 5:00, it's pretty much like a bull in a china shop. As pet owners, Rob and I HAVE to walk them almost daily. Fetch, long walks, runs and "indoor fetch" are vital to my dogs' health - and to our sanity. Dogs with entirely too much energy who have been cooped up in the house all day while you're at work are not the result of poor behavior on part of the animal - it's because you, as their "I know more than this dog and need to be responsible" human, have failed to help them expend that energy. A dog has a short life to live, and he spends most of it waiting for you to come home from work every day. Act accordingly. You don't get to return a dog to a shelter because you "didn't have time for its high energy needs." You adopted the dog. You made the commitment. If you weren't a runner before, it looks like you better invest in a good pair of gym shoes.
At some point, your dog will do something dumb and end up at the vet with an expensive bill or pricey procedure. Your dog will encounter some kind of medical issue - through old age, bad joints, special diet or basic prescriptions, and you will have to foot the bill for this animal. Owning a pet is expensive, when done properly. There are flea medications, heart worm pills, toys, food and yearly shots. And those are the bare minimums. There are boarding fees, unexpected x-rays, and medical issues you encounter down the road that you never saw coming. You, once again, as the oh-so-responsible-adult, will need to plan for how you're going to handle them. No one expects to have a dog with a special need, or an expensive unexpected procedure, and most of us have pets who are (thank the Lord) just fine. But if dumping them off at a shelter is your solution to these problems, adopting isn't for you. You don't let a child suffer through a painful injury, and you take yourself to the doctor when you have a nasty infection. Why should a dog's life be handled differently?
Be aware that once you adopt an animal, it becomes a permanent fixture in your life. That means that when you move, get a boyfriend, grow bored of your dog or are confronted with the formerly mentioned unexpected injury, you don't get to surrender your dog back to the shelter you got him from. Not having children, I guess I can't use the "dogs should be treated the same as your children" argument - but what I will say is that pets are a member of your family. You don't leave them behind to better convenience your life. You make decisions with them in mind, and that cute boy you met at the bar is going to have to wait because you haven't been home to let your dog out since you left for happy hour at 5:00.
Your life is full of variables. You have jobs, other family members, kids, friends, car payments, credit card debt, happy hour, date nights, football games and trivia nights. If you decide that you'd like to add a pet into that mix, I applaud you. But please remember that your dog has only you. He has only what you give him, what you show him and what you provide him. He has only the toys you bought, the walks you take him on and the brief time in the day you spend at home. And when he hurts, when he's scared or nervous, or when he's put in a new situation, he's going to look at you. You're his person. You're his home, and for dogs who have been in and out of a shelter, you'll have no idea how much it means for that dog to look at you and know you're not going anywhere.
You can call me the crazy dog lady. I'm the girl who will max out credit cards to pay for an impromptu surgery, who does her best to look for pet-friendly travel accommodations, who double checks the prongs on the collars when we walk. I worry, take them to the vet for gross eye infections and curse every time I pay the absurd vet bills for yearly checkups. I have stickers on my calendars for flea and heart worm medications, celebrate their birthdays and have run myself to death trying to make sure each dog gets "equal" exercise time. My dogs have Salty Dog bandanas, go hiking with Rob and I, and are probably pleased to know our lives pretty much revolve around them. I have dog hair on my carpet, piles of poop in my backyard and a metal bar through my back gate - because you only need to learn the lesson once when a dog gets loose. You may think I'm crazy, but most pet owners will laugh and nod. If you're not going to laugh and nod with me, then you probably shouldn't own a pet.
We live in a world full of so many technological advances that we no longer need patience for anything. But incase you all missed the memo, here's a newsflash: Dogs didn't make technological advances. They don't come with GPS devices and built-in Google search bars. They don't have virus protection, and would probably try to eat a hashtag. They are the one true thing that takes us back to our roots - they ground us in a world where everything is such a whirlwind. They force us to pause and smell that really awesome patch of grass a little longer, stretch every day and greet people every single time like it'll be the last time you see them. They are the most rewarding things in this world, and rescuing a homeless animal from a shelter and giving him a home will do more for that dog in his brief life than you will ever know.
Just like raising a child, no amount of research, books or advice will really prepare you for raising a puppy or owning a dog. There are millions of surprises, moments of insanity and frustration, and dozens of "what was I thinking" moments. But if you stick around, if you really put in the time and love, they will do nothing but love you. Some love with a gentle nuzzle, some lick you to death, and others will do anything to be sitting on top of you wherever you are (double bonus points if that dog is also 88 pounds like mine is). They love you the way they know how, and it's so easy for them. We could all learn a thing or six thousand from these guys - and you'll never regret bringing one home. For every bad behavior, every chewed sofa or slobbery shoe, there is a hug, a tongue-hanging-out-of-mouth happiness after a game of fetch and a dog curled at your side as you watch your favorite shows, saying in his own way, "Thank you. Thank you for loving me."
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