I was mindlessly browsing Pinterest the other day, pinning more projects I'll never do and a thousand ways to save $10 on my wedding, which I'll never even look at. Then I stumbled upon this. I brush most of the cheesy quotes I see on Pinterest off, but two days later, I was still thinking about this.
About a week ago, I had a gum graft surgery done. I was put on a strict liquids and soft-foods diet for about a week and I won't be able to bite using my front teeth for up to 6 weeks. I wasn't able to do physical activity for 3-4 days, but the graft feels so strange and sensitive that it hindered my exercise routine for nearly a week. Nearly a week? I know, it's not that big of a deal. But in the midst of the wedding dress diet, and the fact that I feel ridiculously restless without any sort of cardio in my day, I felt like a train wreck. So I spiraled. I spiraled into this boo boo kitty, self-loathing, poor me attitude that left me eating mashed potatoes and more macaroni and cheese than I consumed during my four years of college. This obviously resulted in my first weigh-in with a gain this year, and I can honestly say that I'd rather be punched in the leg repeatedly before having to deal with using my tongue to chew food ever again.
But here's the moral of the story: Regardless of my attitude, the time still passed. Despite my acting like the world had suddenly stopped (and so did my will to cook and do laundry), I was disappointed to learn that Thursday still came, my body still took in twice my needed caloric intake and I still gained weight. And unfortunately, that's the hard truth. Like it or not, Monday will come after Sunday, just like it always does. And like it or not, the time passes while we're sitting here thinking about our goals instead of actually seeing them through.
My struggle with weight loss, like many, is lifelong. It's a constant process as you try to find balance. The first time I lost 50 pounds, I drank it all back on and after finally getting my shit on lockdown at the beginning of 2012, I still spent a good 6 months beating myself up over having gained the weight back in the first place. No one wants to re-lose the same 50 pounds, or hit the pavement for the first time in months, only to learn you can only make it to the end of your street before hyperventilating. Starting over when you know you're capable of more is a hard pill to swallow, especially if you hate being wrong. Starting over from square one and mentally wanting to run 6 miles when your body can only handle 2 is frustrating. Hitting the same weight loss milestones as you've hit once before is like deja vu you never wanted to experience. There's no sugarcoating it.
But the six months I spent harping on what I messed up in the past is six months I can't get back now. I can't spend any time now imagining where I'd be had I not beat myself up for the first six months of last year. But looking back on it, I guess I learned something in the long run. The time will still pass. Whether you spend it bitching and moaning, avoiding your credit card debt or busting your ass at the gym, the time will still pass. That wedding you wanted to lose weight for will still come, regardless of what you did with the time in between. The debt collectors will still call, even if you ignore their calls for two months. What you do with the time is yours.
And in a world where we often feel like we have such little control over what happens, that is something we can control. I can't control the fact that I had to get a super obnoxious gum graft done weeks before a trip to Nashville and right in the peak of my awesome workout/eat right motivation. I can't control the fact that I already gained back most of the weight I lost the first time. What I can control is what I do with my time now. What I can control is my attitude, and the way I approach each new day. What I can do, is take what I learned from such a simple quote and recognize all the times I've failed to utilize it in my life - and learn from it. I can repeat it to myself every time I bail on a workout, and every time I want to give myself a break from my diet for a couple weeks.
The time will pass, with or without your participation. What do you want to do with it?
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