look good, feel good.

I'm not typically one to advocate fitness and health for vanity reasons. I work out in clearance running capris from Old Navy and my super simple running tanks from Reebok. I look like a hot mess when I work out - and firmly believe that if you don't, you're not doing it right. But let's face it - everyone loves feeling amazing in a brand spankin' new set of workout clothes. For some reason, new running or workout gear gives us motivation to run extra miles and gives us wings we didn't know we had. Funny, how much exercise and motivation are driven by the mind and not the body. But that's for another post.

So when Rob called me on the way home last night and suggested we make the 35 minute drive to the nearest lululemon store to pick out new workout gear, a belated birthday gift for me that we've been putting off until I got closer to my goal weight and to my half marathon, I got kind of giddy inside. Finally, I'd be purchasing their famous Ta Ta Tamer (yes, that's really what it's called) - a sports bra designed for those of us blessed with the bittersweet large rack - which totally benefits us at the bar when we're trying to get drinks, but can be a major pain in the ass during high intensity cardio sessions like running. I'd been putting off purchasing high end workout clothes until I knew I wouldn't rapidly shrink down sizes and no longer have use for them, but I think it's safe to say that the time had come. Goodbye Walmart sports bras I've been using since high school. Yes, seriously.

Here's the loot - two sports bras and a running tank later, I'm feeling like the biggest running badass on the planet. Today's message is this: if you're passionate about health, fitness and losing weight, sometimes it's worth it to splurge on new workout clothes instead of those killer heels. Rob turned to me after I said "thank you" and said, "I knew these would get used way more than anything else I'd buy you," and he's totally right. I live in my workout clothes, and there's no reason you shouldn't feel drop dead fabulous running down the street in something you're proud of. I seriously urge you to make new workout clothes one of your "rewards" for weight loss milestones and exercise goals met. You should reward yourself, and frequently, for committing to a healthy lifestyle and these guys are totally worth the investment. The truth is, when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you look good. The two go hand in hand, and if $58 sports bras aren't your thing, that's totally cool - but find something that is your thing, embrace it, and treat yourself to it.

I busted out the ta ta tamer this morning for an unplanned run (see what new workout gear will do?!) and could not be happier with the support I got from this guy. The sales associate at lulu called it the "mac daddy" of sports bras, and if you're big-chested and into running or other high-intensity cardio, this is totally worth the initial cost. As a 38D, I've spent most of my life wearing two sports bras to make me feel "secure," and have yet to find a single bra that gives me the kind of support I need during workouts - until I tried these. The straps criss-cross in the back, giving you extra support, lift and that tight feeling we all want from a good sports bra. As an added bonus, they don't leave you with smashed boobs either - something I've always hated about my workout bras. Lifted, supported boobs that don't bounce and ache terribly during a run? Apparently it is possible, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Couldn't recommend them highly enough, and they are the perfect reward for the hard work I've put in thus far.

They're also the motivational kick in the ass I needed as I gear up for the final 8 weeks of training before the Air Force Half Marathon. Happy happily-supported ta-ta's, friends!

cookouts, bridal showers and keeping the momentum.

Happy Sunday, friends! This post comes to you mainly because I'm avoiding cleaning out some of my old kitchen gadgets and dishes to make room for the brand spankin' new goodies we received at my bridal shower this weekend. Blessed does not even begin to cover it.

But since we haven't chatted since my birthday, I guess I've got some ground to cover. Let's talk about the fact that I gained 3 pounds this week at my weigh-in, despite tackling several workouts this past week in a desperate attempt to make up for birthday weight gained over the weekend. Frustrated does not even begin to cover it, and after an hour circuit class last Tuesday in a room covered by mirrors, it's safe to say that I haven't felt this bad about myself since I was at my highest weight.

I could write a series of posts on body image and how important it is to come to terms with who you are aside from your physical appearance, but my recent hiatus from strength training to more actively pursue my running has reminded me that strong is better than skinny any day of the week. It's something that, deep down, I think I always knew, but let's face it - sometimes we're more excited by a loss on the scale than we are by arm muscles. But truth be told, I didn't realize how much I missed being strong until I stopped doing bootcamp a few months ago and lost virtually all the muscle I'd gained during that process. The constant soreness I experience from strength training is fantastic, but detrimental to my running (this is my personal opinion - more power to you if you can bust out 9 miles after leg day at the gym). But I miss strength training dearly, and vow to pursue it more habitually once I get these pesky 13.1 miles out of my system.

The highlight of the work week was a 3.1 mile hike in 90 degree weather with the fabulous Healthy Habits ladies, followed by a cookout with all our favorite recipes from Skinnytaste. Here are some samplings from our fantastic cookout. Don't worry, we didn't have leftovers.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you southwestern black bean salad and chicken pesto kabobs. The black bean salad is a fantastic cold salad on its own, but we devoured the entire bowl before dinner with a bag of tortilla chips from Trader Joe's - I would highly recommend it for any and all summer cookouts and even as a healthy football party dish this fall. I used frozen corn, because I am inherently lazy. And not even sorry about it. The pesto kabobs are a perfect appetizer or main course - we used them as our main course, and someone brought a delicious tomato, basil and mozzarella salad that paired perfectly with these guys. Gina at Skinnytaste makes her own pesto and after I made hers for the first time, I've never bought prepackaged pesto again. It's fabulous. Understatement of the year. 

On the breakfast front, my wonderful friend over at Fabulous Fit Foodie sent a recipe my way for a southwestern scramble in a mug. I'm not a big breakfast person, and struggle to find things that are low in points but fill me until my next feeding (seriously, I eat every two hours like some sort of sick animal). I heat one link of chicken sausage separately, cut it up and add it along with the Laughing Cow wedge once the egg is cooked. Breakfast. In. A. Coffee. Mug. I'm in love. 

I usually eat my breakfast at work, so these are perfect things to store in the office fridge and use when you get hungry mid-morning.

All food and running aside though. This past weekend was my bridal shower, thrown by the best cousin/maid of honor, best friend and family I could ever ask for. The attention to detail, thought and extra mile taken turned out to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I cannot begin to tell you how blessed I feel. As I sit here staring at all our new goodies, every one of them reminds me of the person who gave them to us, and it's actually kind of a humbling experience to know that every time I use our new crockpot, Ninja blender or snuggly green throw, I'll be thinking of the people who love and support us. It's an added bonus to the gift-receiving process that I hadn't considered until it happened.

The shower was also my first "wedding festivity," making the entire experience way more real than it's felt so far. We have 70 days (yes, 70) until the big day and all the planning, weight loss, exercise and logistics have taken priority thus far - but this past weekend allowed me to stop and breathe in the moment, and realize how lucky Rob and I are to have everyone here to celebrate with us. So, in closing, I'll leave you with a few detail shots from the shower - you can thank my amazing cousin over at Shannon Barth Photography for the amazing shots of the smallest, most intricate and beautiful details from Saturday's festivities.

Happy Sunday, friends - may you not kill anyone at your offices this week!

the time will pass.

I was mindlessly browsing Pinterest the other day, pinning more projects I'll never do and a thousand ways to save $10 on my wedding, which I'll never even look at. Then I stumbled upon this. I brush most of the cheesy quotes I see on Pinterest off, but two days later, I was still thinking about this.

About a week ago, I had a gum graft surgery done. I was put on a strict liquids and soft-foods diet for about a week and I won't be able to bite using my front teeth for up to 6 weeks. I wasn't able to do physical activity for 3-4 days, but the graft feels so strange and sensitive that it hindered my exercise routine for nearly a week. Nearly a week? I know, it's not that big of a deal. But in the midst of the wedding dress diet, and the fact that I feel ridiculously restless without any sort of cardio in my day, I felt like a train wreck. So I spiraled. I spiraled into this boo boo kitty, self-loathing, poor me attitude that left me eating mashed potatoes and more macaroni and cheese than I consumed during my four years of college. This obviously resulted in my first weigh-in with a gain this year, and I can honestly say that I'd rather be punched in the leg repeatedly before having to deal with using my tongue to chew food ever again.

But here's the moral of the story: Regardless of my attitude, the time still passed. Despite my acting like the world had suddenly stopped (and so did my will to cook and do laundry), I was disappointed to learn that Thursday still came, my body still took in twice my needed caloric intake and I still gained weight. And unfortunately, that's the hard truth. Like it or not, Monday will come after Sunday, just like it always does. And like it or not, the time passes while we're sitting here thinking about our goals instead of actually seeing them through.

My struggle with weight loss, like many, is lifelong. It's a constant process as you try to find balance. The first time I lost 50 pounds, I drank it all back on and after finally getting my shit on lockdown at the beginning of 2012, I still spent a good 6 months beating myself up over having gained the weight back in the first place. No one wants to re-lose the same 50 pounds, or hit the pavement for the first time in months, only to learn you can only make it to the end of your street before hyperventilating. Starting over when you know you're capable of more is a hard pill to swallow, especially if you hate being wrong. Starting over from square one and mentally wanting to run 6 miles when your body can only handle 2 is frustrating. Hitting the same weight loss milestones as you've hit once before is like deja vu you never wanted to experience. There's no sugarcoating it.

But the six months I spent harping on what I messed up in the past is six months I can't get back now. I can't spend any time now imagining where I'd be had I not beat myself up for the first six months of last year. But looking back on it, I guess I learned something in the long run. The time will still pass. Whether you spend it bitching and moaning, avoiding your credit card debt or busting your ass at the gym, the time will still pass. That wedding you wanted to lose weight for will still come, regardless of what you did with the time in between. The debt collectors will still call, even if you ignore their calls for two months. What you do with the time is yours.

And in a world where we often feel like we have such little control over what happens, that is something we can control. I can't control the fact that I had to get a super obnoxious gum graft done weeks before a trip to Nashville and right in the peak of my awesome workout/eat right motivation. I can't control the fact that I already gained back most of the weight I lost the first time. What I can control is what I do with my time now. What I can control is my attitude, and the way I approach each new day. What I can do, is take what I learned from such a simple quote and recognize all the times I've failed to utilize it in my life - and learn from it. I can repeat it to myself every time I bail on a workout, and every time I want to give myself a break from my diet for a couple weeks.

The time will pass, with or without your participation. What do you want to do with it?